It's Been a While....

Since I posted anyway.  I was stressed.  Putting it simply.  Putting it more complexly (if that is even a word...) my work load blew up, my company is working towards a completely different style of work flow changing everything from they way are desks are set up to our assign agencies.  I took a CPCU exam two Friday's ago.  And for those of you who've taken them, you can understand.  All the while, I'm trying to take care of my 19 month old and keep my sanity.

I was so absolutely stressed out that I was breaking out in hives for about a week!  I would start to get really itchy.  If I could hold off scratching too much, it was just painful for a little bit.  But sometimes I couldn’t and I would just go to town.  The result was a ton of painful hives that took a little while to go away.  The worst was one day as I was getting out of the shower, the insides of my thighs were kind of itchy.  I scratched both sides a little bit and after I’d dried off, I put some comfy PJ pants on.  Well, I think the loose fabric brushing against my thighs didn’t help because all of a sudden I was scratching like crazy.  The result?  A conglomerate of hives…that looked like One. Giant. hive.  I sat in a chair with my pants down and ice on them to help keep me from scratching.  I thought it was stress but had never had that before.  I hadn’t changed any detergents, cleaning solutions, used new body products, etc so I really didn’t think it could be an allergy like that.  It would also happen in random places.  Sometimes it was my hands, one time it was my shoulder, once my foot, so yeah, it was just weird.  It was during that week that I made the decision to prep my resume and get ready to leave.  I’d like to find another job now but I’m really thinking about going back to school and without describing step by step at this point, waiting it out here another year would be the best situation.  If I can make it.  If it’s affecting my health physically and mentally that badly, I should not stay but it might be getting better, we’ll see.

In the meantime, another update on my depression progress.  I’m doing FABULOUS!  I feel stronger mentally than I have in a long time.  I feel like I can get frustrated but not feel like I want to hurt something (or myself).  When I was going through those extremely stressful weeks mentioned above, I didn’t feel like killing myself.  And that is saying something.  I cried and am getting a little emotional at the thought that I didn’t feel that way.  The first time in a long long long time.  It just feels so good to not feel so hopeless and helpless.  I don’t know if it’s just the goLITE therapy light but something has changed and it is the best feeling in the world. 

In other news, last night we were all in my room and Crinkles was running around like a mad Crinks.  I’d started leaving the room to go downstairs and I heard a thud.  The Bage was in there with him and I heard him crying pretty hard.  I went back into the room and The Bage was holding Crinkles consoling him when we both noticed the blood pooling in his mouth.  I ran and got some gauze.  In his fall, his tooth went through his lip!  His tooth is fine from what we can tell but his poor lip.  The bleeding stopped fairly quickly, we got some ice on it, and called the doctor.  He stopped crying and it didn’t look awful so we wanted the doctor’s opinion before rushing him to the hospital for the potentially more traumatizing procedure of stitches.  The doctor said as long as it wasn’t a gaping hole he should be fine, just to keep an eye out for infection.

Another random note, Saturday was gorgeous!  I was outside in pants and short sleeves or a light jacket the whole time.  Gavin and I also went on our first bike ride of the year.  Can’t wait to get in more!  Then Sunday (and today, Monday) it has snowed and has been freezing cold.  Lame.

Okay well I do have to work  but that’s all I’ve got for now.

Pace,
Megan

goLite ...

Or go home!  Okay, didn't make sense but GET OVER IT!

So I wanted to type up my almost three week usage review.

I started off at the lowest light setting for 60 minutes set about 20" away from me.  That last part was a random side note, I know there is some sort of significance to the distance.  About 5 days in, I could tell a little difference but could also tell that I needed to up the level.  So, for the last 14 days I've had it on level 2 for about 60 minutes.  I say about because some days it is a little longer and some a little shorter.  It took me about a week to adjust the intensity and time to how I like it.  It also took about that long to start noticing a difference.

I do honestly think it's made a difference.  After the end of each session, I feel warm and calm inside.  The calmness helps me relax enough to think a little more clearly and start my work.  At this point, I would definitely recommend it.  Using the light in conjunction with my medication makes for one collected lady here!

  I think the real test will be when I'm off my medication though.  I'm too afraid to lower my dosage just yet and you're not supposed to quit cold turkey (there can be some not cool side effects).  But I do think that even without my medication this would be beneficial.  Once I work up the courage to let go of my meds I'll do another test.  I know I sound like a total addict in that last sentence but if you have been struggling for a while and then find the right combo of medication for you, it's hard to let it go thinking about how bad it can be without.

One thing I did want to address were some of my specific reasons for selecting this light and how my expectations have turned out:

1) It's compact, and can run off a charged battery for a couple days.  - This has been perfect for me since I use it at work, it's not big and awkward, and I can take it home without having to dismantle the plug.  Doesn't seem like a big deal but if you saw my desk and how I have to hook things up you'd understand! 

2) Adjustable light settings. -  I feel like a majority of the SAD lights I looked at really only had one light intensity.  The goLite Blu has 4 making it versatile for finding out what intensity and time combo works best for you.  It's been nice adjusting to find the 'perfect' fit.  Plus, it is UV free, the light filters those rays out so you're not going to be getting a tan at your desk :)

3) It had an alarm.  - You can set an alarm for either a sound chime or the light to turn on.  Or both!  I have mine set to the light to go on since I can get distracted during the day, this makes sure I can use it every day!  It has definitely kept me on track. 

4) It has a timer! - Again, I get distracted easily so this 'reminds' me when enough is enough when it turns off itself!

I cannot say enough good things about this light. I hope this review helps anyone considering getting one! Also, on a side note, if you have an FSA, this could be covered and fall under "medical equipment" with a doctor's recommendation. I used a letter from my therapist.

So that's all I've got for now! 


Pace,
Megan