I think I've cried more in the last two to three months than I have in the past say 10 years (if not more!). The Bage and I visited the daycare center last night and decided (at least in the short term) that was the best decision for now. They have availability starting Monday which works perfectly since we don't know what Sandy's schedule will be after she meets with the oncology surgeon. So that makes today the last day Crinks will go to Sandy in a while.
There are so many good things about this daycare and it comforts me that a good friend works there. But I know it's sad for Sandy and I know Crinks is going to miss her so much. I'm so afraid on how he is going to transition. Instead of all the one-on-one he'll be one of 12 kids. Instead of the dark and quiet room he gets for naps, the lights will be fully on with kids playing in the back ground that don't take naps at that time.
On the positive, the stress of the unknown will be removed, Crinks can get on a schedule elsewhere, and we get webcam access to watch him during the day. This is so different for us that it's just taking time to adjust.
I just feel tired and drained. I know when you're exposed to something for a long time you get desensitized. I haven't been around death and bad sickness all that much but I seriously can't handle it. I really don't think I'll ever be able to handle it.
Sorry this is another sad post.
On the bright side, I think the tile under the linoleum that the previous owners put down is okay, just dirty but okay. When I lifted up a section the other day is smelled sort of musty and mildewy so I'm hoping a good scrubbing will take care of that. I do plan on re-grouting too if the tiles are still okay. I really need to work on my picture taking I just never think to do it. Maybe because I'm such a fat-ass I don't want to be in pictures... if my husband saw I wrote that he'd yell at me. He's a crazy man and doesn't think I'm fat. Silly silly :) but it's one of the bazillion reasons I love him!!
Pace,
Megan
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