So as you know (you know, all of the NO ONE that reads this blog) Crinkles' sitter has cancer and surgery to remove some of that. We have been on the fence about whether to move Gavin but we love Sandy so much we really wanted to make it work. Well, as with most things, they unfolded in such a way which let's me know the right time to take action. What was my sign? The fact that Sandy specifically said that it would be a good idea.
What changed in the last week? I guess her situation is a little more severe than first thought which will change the course of her treatment. I definitely cried this morning (and am tearing up now as I write this). It's so so scary everything that can happen to you in the blink of an eye. The thing is though, you can't worry about it all the time otherwise you'd go insane and NEVER live your life like you should.
She told The Bage this morning when he dropped Crinks off. He called me on his way to work to tell me. He just said it really puts your life in perspective and all he wants is to be near me right now. I really truely believe that if we grow to be old together we're totally going to die Notebook style (aka there's no way I'm surviving a day past when he dies). I tell him all the time that he can't die before me because I seriously won't be able to handle it. I love him more than anything in the world (tied with Crinks for 1st) and I tell him that all the time. It really is so scary and if anything for me, it makes me want to go out there and live my life!
I get on this high when thoughts like this come up. Like, I'm not going to worry about money and I'm going to travel and have fun and do whatever. But then I realize, without money, how would I be able to travel? The Bage doesn't go camping so yeah. Life really is messed up. You've got the good people of the world who get hit by cars, or gunned down by crazies because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Then you have the child molesters, killers, and rapists sitting in jail taking up space. It truly is mess up and makes me kind of sick.
I read an article title where this guy (I think he murdered someone) was protesting his life sentence in jail because it goes against his rights as a human to be locked up for the rest of his life. ARE. YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING ME?!? Dude, you lost your rights when you FUCKING KILLED SOMEONE ELSE!
And my mother wonders why I have little faith in society and am so cynical about it. I know it's not healthy to be so I try to be nice but when you have the good people dieing of cancer and then you see stuff like that, it puts your life into perspective. You really have to wonder if I found out I was going to die in a couple days, months, etc would I be happy with what I've done?
*sigh* I know this whole topic is so rhetorical and it could be discussed for hours on end going round and round with no end or solution. I guess that's why I try to forget about these things sometimes. It's not worth getting scared, worried, and worked up over something I (you, we) have no control over.
Man, sorry for being so depressing this morning. I just need to say these things 'out loud' get them out of my mind.
Okay everyone, go live your life and be happy, tell the people you love that you love them.
Pace,
Megan
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