Okay, so where was I?
I’d just gotten the epidural which sent me into breathable bliss. They went ahead and broke the bag of waters
(apparently that’s what it’s called, it just sounds weird) to get things moving
along. It was still early enough that
the epidural started to wear off. I
should have just held off getting a second dose because when I got that, I felt
even more numb that the first round. Not
only that but I was laying back far enough that the numbness creeped up to my
chest. It seriously freaked me out.
By the time I was ready to push I couldn’t feel anything
down there. Nothing. I was hoping that whatever movement I was
trying to make was successfully working my baby out but I couldn’t tell.
I think I pushed for about an hour and 20 minutes, I had to
slow down and push every other contraction because Crink’s heart rate dropped a
little everytime I pushed but all in all, not too bad!
Soon enough baby boy was with me and The Bage and life couldn’t
be any better. And you know what? Anything else they did down there, sew the
tear, the afterbirth, whatever…I was completely unaware of.
The thing is though, once a little time passed, I was going
to try and get up.
Here is our first family portrait...yes I looked (and felt) like a cow. I'm working on that!
Here is the grand prize at the end of it all! He was SO hairy oh my goodness!
Bad idea, I started
to get up, and started to pass out.
Luckily I felt it coming and sat back on the bed (so at least I didn’t
fall on the floor). Apparently I’d lost
a bit more blood than usual so yeah. It
took a day until I could stand up without feeling like I was going to pass out
but even then it took a while. And a gross
thing, seriously, don’t continue reading if you are easily grossed out…I had a
huge blood clot! Like, nurses were
telling other nurses about it it was so big.
It seriously felt like I had another baby. Gross. Haha
Anyway, the first couple days were okay. Crinks cried a lot because he wasn’t getting
enough to eat but once he did, he slept, and I slept, and it was glorious!
So yeah, that’s the rest.
I guess I thought I was going to write more about it but apparently
not. I’m sure things will creep into my
mind down the road like, ‘Oh, you should have mentioned that.’ Whatever, get over it!
You know, you can read all you want and talk to people all
you want about the lack of sleep you’ll get and how you can love someone so
much but you seriously never know until you’re in it. I look at my baby sometimes and think, I don’t
know how there could be any more room in my heart for anyone because I love him
so much! It’s a crazy feeling.
The tiredness…well that coupled with a baby who isn’t
getting enough to eat, coupled with depression is a recipe for a
breakdown. The first week was
rough. I nursed for about 20 minutes on
EACH side, then pumped both sides for at least 20 minutes. By the time all that was done, he was pretty
much ready to eat again. I was barely
getting anything when I pumped and I just was never sure about the latch. After a week, I decided to switch to
formula. I had a breast surgery several
years ago so that was a definite factor.
I don’t regret what I did. It was
best for my family (and my sanity) but now that I know what to expect, I’m
really going to try much much harder with our second baby (whenever s/he gets
here).
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